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Stop Blaming Others, take responsibility.
Why do we keep blaming others when we fail? Why do we tend to find an excuse?
Today I’d like to discuss externalizing blame. We’ll see how this pattern establishes and how we can break this detrimental cycle.
First things first, what is externalizing blame? It is one of the best ways to block your self-growth for starters.
“The man who blames others has a long journey to make. The one who blames himself is halfway there. The one who blames no one has arrived.” -Unknown
So it’s when we assign blame for our problems or failures to outside forces or other people rather than accepting responsibility for our actions.
What purpose does it serve?
Externalization is an unconscious defense mechanism.
- It is a way to self-relief. It is harder to say “I need to improve myself on this, work harder and find out what I’m doing wrong” instead of “Well I didn’t sleep well and the traffic drained me it’s not my fault”.
- Admitting you’re not good enough at something hurts the ego, it’s a pill that is hard to swallow.
- If there is something else to blame, you can dodge the guilt and shame.
Speaking of defense mechanisms, I wrote about them here. Projection&externalisation go together very well.
I regularly play basketball. Luckily, my height compensates for my lack of talent, up to some point. So I can enjoy playing.
Where I play people mostly play half-court 3v3 matches. There are regulars but every now and then there are new people.
Some people just get too hyped for no reason. When they score or block a shot they may celebrate like they just clutched a Play-Off game in NBA.
